Thought Monster and Gloomy Goblin

                Lately I have been having this panic inducing tightening in my chest.  And I know it is not a heart attack.  Instead, it is anxiety.                  At the current moment I feel like I have so much on my plate that I am never going to get finished.  Some days it feels like I […]

Stuff the Body Challenge

                So I had to challenge myself the other day.  “But Alicia, WHY would you challenge yourself??”  you might be asking?  And the answer is, because I like to sew.                  How do those two link up?  Well, let me give you a fun tidbit of backstory.                  I have never ever ever ever been […]

My depression kicked my butt today

                Do you know what I hate?                 I was playing a game with my best friend, a game we have invested multiple hours into, a game I love playing with him.  Not only do I love playing the game with him, but it is also time where he and I get to talk and […]

Am I dying?

                Anyone else have that one thing happen that is kind of like a kick in the teeth?  It leaves you sucking in air, grasping for a thought to latch onto to keep yourself calm?  With everything that has been going on inside of my body, I have been getting a ton of blood tests.  […]

Rap Tap Tap…

              I had my weekly appointment with my therapist to discuss how I have been doing lately.  And is that not a fun question to have to ask yourself?  Under normal circumstances sure, but in the middle of a pandemic where it feels as though my country is literally ripping itself apart at the seems […]

Trista – Part 1

“I don’t hate myself,” she whispered as she stare at her fingertips.  The purple nail polish she had painted on them mere hours ago was already chipped and faded.  In her entire life, she could not remember a time where she had not scuffed her freshly painted nails almost immediately.  “Ok.  It is not hate, […]

It Changed Me

It changed me Falling in love and falling out of it It changed me And not for the better It hurt me It maimed me And at the end of the day It claimed me I sank down so far into depression That climbing back out Was like climbing up a sheer cliff With no […]

Finding My Broken Pieces

I am broken A thousand little pieces That will never be back together I’m humpty dumpty Only worse Because all of the kings horses And all the kings men At least they tried To put him together again But with me It is me Playing with this puzzle Trying to find A way to be […]

Fight for the future

Maybe you don’t understand And maybe that’s ok As long as you understand I made it through the day I wrestled with my own emotions And at the end of the day I finally won But that doesn’t mean The war is over It’s only just begun As I will wake up tomorrow The empty […]