It Changed Me

It changed me

Falling in love and falling out of it

It changed me

And not for the better

It hurt me

It maimed me

And at the end of the day

It claimed me

I sank down so far into depression

That climbing back out

Was like climbing up a sheer cliff

With no hand holds

And it changed me

That climb back out

Making those footholds

Those hand holds

They claimed a piece of my soul

And I knew that letting go

Of those handholds

Was saying goodbye

To everything I was

And everything I could ever be

So rather than say goodbye

I stopped for a moment

And wiped the tears from my eyes

I stared at the cliff

Looked up towards the top

And screamed

“This climb

Wasn’t going to break me”

But it did change me

And those changes are profound

More evident when no one else is around

It’s those moments looking at myself in the mirror

Trying to catch a glimpse of what I used to be

And trying to come to terms

With what I am now

And what I am now

Is not what I want to be

But it is one step closer

To who it is I do want to be

And it’s scary to see

What that broken heart did to me

It tore a part of me away

But at the end of the day

I’m happy with that piece gone

I won’t do anything but smile

And say so long

Wave to the pieces

That were torn away

Because if they were that easy to have broken away

Good riddance

I don’t need that

I don’t want that

And I won’t take it

It changed me

Everything ever designed to break me

It changed me

And maybe not always in the best ways

Maybe there is a hardened edge or two

That can easily come unglued

When the right word or phrase

Lays inside my head

Stabbing at me to think

But there are good ways

That I have been changed

It changed me

Those sick perverted twisted ways of love

Changed me

And made me

They taught me

That even though it can get conflicted

Giving love

Is the best possible gift

And maybe you don’t see that

But I know I do

And all I want to do

Is give my love to you

And it changed me

Wanting to give away

The love inside of me

It changed me

And maybe that’s a reckless thing to do

To say those words

To say I love you

But maybe if I say it

It will change you too

Maybe it will give you the courage

To climb that sheer cliff wall

Maybe you will carve your own path

Your own footholds

In a path next to mine

And if that’s what it can do

Then I grant that gift to you

Because having that gift?

It changed me

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s