Ever have one of those fights with your significant other that you replay in your head over and over again, getting angrier and angrier with each replay? One of those fights where the other person is so clearly in the wrong, you just want to throttle them into the correct answer?
My husband and I had one of those fights. One of those fights where you sit and stew, and are just cranky.
“But Alicia? Why did you fight?” Excellent question stranger on the internet!
We fought over the household chores. So, I am one of those people (who was raised by one of those people, that was raised by one of those people and so on) that does not want to tell you what needs done. In my personal opinion, if you see a sink full of dirty dishes, do the dirty dishes. Try not to wait around for someone to ask you to do them.
If you are suddenly and magically out of underwear, take a pile of dirty laundry, and do the laundry. (Side note, if you are doing the laundry, do it the entire way though. Don’t just wash it and let it sit to get moldy in the washer and go “well I did it”).
My house was dirty. And not the normal “we live here” dirty. It was more of the “if my mother walked into this house right now, I would be ashamed of her seeing the filth I am currently living in” kind of filth. My house got that way, because I was being stupid (ill admit it) and waiting to see how long it took my husband to do the chores without me asking.
I think I am a reasonable woman. I don’t expect him to do everything under the sun. If the sink is full however, FILL THE FRICKEN DISHWASHER!!!!
But he doesn’t do that. He waits until I ask him to help. And not much gets under my skin in the way that does.
We have talked about it, fought about it, negotiated over it. And it always ends the same. We are mad at each other, mainly because he doesn’t read my mind and miraculously know what it is, I want him to do.
So, if you in your relationship ever have this issue, take my well learned and hard-earned advice. Just do the ding dang chore. Don’t wait for someone to ask you, don’t let the clothing get moldy in the washer, don’t let the plates grow legs and walk away. Don’t leave the pile of clean laundry sitting on the floor so you can sift through it for a pair of pants to last just one more day.
Save yourself the headache, and just do the chore, and thank your spouse, roommate, mom, or whomever it is that does the chores with you.
Because at the end of the day, chores flipping suck!