Finding My Broken Pieces

I am broken

A thousand little pieces

That will never be back together

I’m humpty dumpty

Only worse

Because all of the kings horses

And all the kings men

At least they tried

To put him together again

But with me

It is me

Playing with this puzzle

Trying to find

A way to be another

Because these shattered pieces

Come from my shattered mind

Where everything I hate

About myself

Is crystal clear

And though the pieces fit together

They don’t go together

They are broken pieces

That make the pieces

Of what hold me together

And maybe I don’t need your help

Or anyone else’s

But the tears I’m crying

Are taking the pieces

And washing them down stream

Almost like I’m giving up

The best parts of me

And I try to hide the brokenness

Behind an empty smile

And most people are buying it

Why look past a smile

And maybe I’m trying to hard

To put myself together

But these broken shards

Of my broken mind

Stab me at

The worst of times

Too fat

Too ugly

To loud

Just calm down

Don’t Jump up and down

You’ll bring down the house

And I don’t want to shake the house

I just want to be

A beautiful

Pretty

Entity

Without someone

Taking the time

To call me ugly names

Or to tell me

I’m eating too much

And to just slow down

Because I’m not being a lady

There are so many rules

That I seem to have to follow

That are breaking me down even further

I don’t want to be a lady

I don’t want to be stick thin

I just want to take the chance

To be myself

And see if anyone else

Could like me

But to let someone see

What everything I can be

I would have to find myself

Amongst the broken shards

Of everything that has ever broken me

And I just don’t know

If I can fight that battle

And still come out alive

 

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